HAPPY THANKSGIVING

We here at the HHSFFL Headquarters would like to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving.  This time of year we like to take a moment and consider the things we are thankful for.  In no particular order, here are a few things the HHSFFL Employees have listed.

Wings & Beer

Sexy Bartenders

Naps

Muffed Punts

This Guy

Belly Button Rings

Lower Back Tattoos

NFL Redzone

Mustaches

Bacon

Bayside High Tigers Fans

And, of course....Fantasy Football

WEEK 12 POWER RANKINGS

WEEK EIGHT POWER RANKINGS 

1. Kearney Vores - You need to get up pretty early in the morning to beat the Kearney Vores...literally.  He gets up at 4:45 every Wednesday to clean up anyone that cleared waivers.  
2. Shake & Bake - Padding their stats against the JV division.
3. Green Monster - Sometimes the best strategy is to get lucky as all hell with your weekly match ups.  
4. Morlock Nation - If one team gets lucky with match ups, that means someone gets the shaft.  
5. TMIFFTITW - I have to admit...I had a bad feeling about my season when they took Reggie Bush with pick 17.  I'm not bitter or anything though.
6. Bayside High Tigers - No one achieves mediocrity like this bunch.
7. Mean Machine - This team inspires less confidence than the owners wardrobe.
8. Mad Men - Crippled by injuries, toughest schedule in the league, still hanging on to the 8th playoff spot.
9. Little Giants - No one was angrier about that tie last week.
10. Forgotten Gods - By my fake, pretend, gorilla math...this team is officially out of the playoffs.
11. Morlock Nation - A master of the waiver wire and scratching himself.
12. Necessary Roughness - Hey, remember that 147 points in week one?  Because no one else does.
13. Kane is Able - Cursed from draft day...sooner or later we all learn to steer clear of QB6.
14. Vandalay Industries - T-Rich is in the running for Biggest Bust of the Year 
15. Hawkeye Nation - Rebuilding years are tough...especially in non-keeper leagues.
16. Cobra Kai Dojo - Don't worry...it will all be over soon.

KANE IS ABLE COSTUME CONTEST WINNER

Well at least that's not creepy.  

SHAKE & BAKE FAN OF THE WEEK

It's good to be the champ.

HHSFFL WIRED FOR SOUND

In an effort to bring our fans ever closer to this great game, the HHSFFL has wired all of its players and coaches for sound over the course of the season.  Here are some of the highlights caught on video.  

TOM BRADY ARRIVES IN BAYSIDE

Tom Brady, fresh off his bye week has arrived in Bayside and the fans couldn't be happier.  In fact, they are joyfully dancing in front of nondescript white walls in celebration.  In an early morning radio interview, Brady expressed his excitement in coming back to Southern California, not far from where he grew up.  "The fans here are just so...enthusiastic" he stated.

BY POPULAR DEMAND

In response to the popularity of the Bayside Tigers Fan of the Week promotion, several other franchises have begun their own searches for spirited followers.  Their efforts have yielded mixed results, which will, of course, be shared with you over the next several weeks.  

MORLOCK NATION FAN OF THE WEEK

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

TRADE DEADLINE LOOMING

The HHSFFL Trade Deadline is WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 13 at Noon.  And while you contemplate the horrible decisions some of you are about to make, enjoy this compilation of people who have it worse than you do.

ICEBOX SUSPENDED INDEFINITELY

The Little Giants, despite their record, are dealing with controversy in their locker room.  Apparently Becky "Ice Box" O'Shea has been dismissed from the team for an undisclosed length of time for excessively hazing teammate Junior Floyd.  Head Coach Danny O'Shea has declined comment as it is now a league matter.  The HHSFFL Commissioner released a statement through his office a short while ago.

"The HHSFFL and I are deeply disappointed by the actions that occurred in the Little Giants locker room.  Hazing is something we do not condone and take very seriously.  Any consequences that may be handed down will not be decided until the investigation is complete.  In the meantime, we support the Little Giants' decision to dismiss the accused party."

Junior Floyd is a talented rookie, and has accused Ice Box of forcing him to pay $15,000 for her trip to Las Vegas.  In addition, Floyd has turned over the tapes from his answering machine to the HHSFFL investigation team, stating they contain threatening and racially insensitive messages.  Ice Box claims she was just flirting.

BLOCKBUSTER TRADE

Adam Schefter has reported a blockbuster trade in the HHSFFL today.  The Forgotten Gods finally got their wish to send Tom Brady packing, a dream of the Panther ever since the 2001 AFC Championship game.  Here is the outline of the deal.

BAYSIDE TIGERS GET:

Tom Brady

CJ Spiller

Antonio Brown

Ryan Tannehill

FORGOTTEN GODS GET:

Robert Griffin III

Victor Cruz

Ray Rice

Jarrett Boykin

While Brady, Cruz, Spiller, and Rice are names that would make headlines in any deal, they have underperformed thus far this season.  Both franchises are hoping that a change of scenery will help improve their play.  

JESSIE SPANO WINS DANCING WITH THE STARS. PERIOD.

Simply a stunning performance by a Bayside Alum.  Jessie Spano just dominated Dancing with the Stars.  Watching this video is like watching someone put up a record performance that you know will just never be broken.  This is what it must have been like watching Cy Young record his 511th win or seeing Wilt Chamberlain score 100 points.  It's one of those performances that years from now, people will ask "Where were you when..." and everyone will know the answer.  It's pure greatness in motion.

P.S.  Rumor has it that the Jive Pills are becoming a disturbing trend in the HHSFFL and a formal investigation is likely to be launched soon.

KEARNEY VORES TEARING UP

Oops...I mean tearing it up.  Sorry.  Honest mistake.  I was still laughing about a recent conference call with the Kearney Vores front office in which team officials were complaining about not getting enough press after winning five games in a row.  So here you go.

The Kearney Vores have won five games in a row and they want everyone to know about it.  They are on top of their division now and inside the top 8.  They're awesome.  I need to get a Kearney Vores jersey.  As for the standings a division lead puts them in the playoffs.  Therefore, they are no longer no the outside creepily looking in.  They are inside creepily looking out.  However, it remains to be seen how long they'll stay there.  They have bye week issues against a strong Kane is Able team and their first round pick is out for the next 3-5 weeks.  If Kane is Able wants to play some defense...picking up Foles off the waiver wire would be a sly move.

TMIFFTITW MAKES HHSFFL HISTORY

The Most Interesting Fantasy Football Team in the World accomplished what the Tigers only hoped to accomplish and they did it without an ounce of bravado or trash talk...the way a classy organization should.  Crippled by bye weeks, TMIFFTITW elected it would be more prudent to start only seven players than to drop some key members in favor of waiver wire pick ups.  It didn't matter.  TY Hilton and Ben Roethlisberger nearly carried the team to victory on their own.  President of Player Personnel, Demetrius Williams, tweeted that "Some players are simply at their best when their team needs them the most."  

Necessary Roughness, horribly embarrassed by the loss (and rightfully so) has refused to comment.  This is not the first time a team has started a shorthanded line up, but it is the first time a team has won with one.