TIM TEBOW CUT

Tim Tebow has been released today, ending his Patriots career and potentially ending his NFL career.  

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

I couldn't decide which one I liked better...

GRADING THE HHSFFL DRAFT - DELL DIVISION

JENNY DELL DIVISION

Vandalay Industries - Star power galore.  Art Vandalay's first six picks have all proven they can be fantasy studs.  While a few guys might be a bit past their prime - Gore, Wayne, and Jennings - they are still capable of putting up big numbers.  The icing on the cake though, is securing insurance for a 30 year old running back.  Grade:  A-

Mean Machine - I love Martin at the fifth pick.  Love it.  I also like Marshall in the second and Gronk in the fourth.  Based on the Patriots cuts today, I think he's closer to playing than anyone thinks.  He could be a 4th round steal.  Sproles ahead of Ryan Matthews and Randall Cobb may not have been wise.  And Stewart in the 9th isn't one I'd brag about either.  Grade:  B

TMIFFTITW - Picking last sucks.  Huge disadvantage.  That being said, MJD led the league in rushing less than 12 months ago and I think Reggie Bush is going to have a MONSTER year.  Dwayne Bowe got a huge upgrade at QB and I'm not sure why all the draft boards were down on Welker this year.  Grade:  B-

Malibu Beach Sharknados - Fantastic Draft.  Loaded at running back.  Lots of late round value.  Just an absolute clinic on how to draft.  Grade: A+++

GRADING THE HHSFFL DRAFT - STEPHANOS DIVISION

MARIA STEPHANOS DIVISION

Cobra Kai - Weak sauce here.  Missed on Rice (should have drafted Spiller), McFadden (this is not the year), and Kaepernick .  Put too much value on rookie wide receivers and not enough on rookie running backs.  And what happens in weeks 7 and 8 when the Dojo doesn't have a third running back on the roster?  Grade:  F

Hawkeye Nation - Lots of upside here.  Forte is reportedly going to get all the goal line carries, Amendola will have a monster year if he stays healthy, and grabbing Vick in the 7th round was a steal. Of course, all three of those guys have had injury problems in the past.  Bench is a bit thin, but if they all stay healthy I don't see any major holes.  Grade:  A-

Mad Men - Potential to have the top RB, WR, and QB but it drops a bit after that.  Vereen could have a good year, Davis could have a good year, and Givens could have a good year.  That's a lot of stars that need to align, but it could happen.  Grade:  B-

Kearney Vores - I want to like this team and I don't have a good reason why I don't.  I guess I think 2nd overall pick should have been a stud RB and a QB would have been a better pick in the third round.  I'm sure DeMarco Murray is a nice enough guy, but I don't like him.  Not sure why.  Just don't.  Don't over think it.  Grade:  C

GRADING THE HHSFFL DRAFT - CARREÑO DIVISION

NELLY CARREÑO DIVISION

Little Giants - In a classic Little Giants fashion, four of the first five players drafted are 30 years or older.  However, Jackson, Manning, and Cruz all seem to be primed for big years.  The hole here again is running back.  I've said it before and I'll say it again...if you're second starting running back doesn't even start on his own team, you could be in trouble.  Grade: B-

Kane is Able - I really like this draft.  In fact, if it weren't for Cutler I would trade teams straight up.  Second round pick, David Wilson, now looks like a bargain that he'll be getting %100 of the carries now and Randall Cobb in the third round is a steal.  Grade: A (Would have been an A+ without Cutler)

Morlock Nation - Could have had Andy Dalton a round later, but otherwise some solid value in the later rounds.  The problem here could be that Charles, V. Jackson, Austin, and F. Jackson seem to be made of paper mache at times.  Grade:  B+

Green Monster - Adrian Peterson is a nice chip to have.  But should have gone RB in the second or third round.  Once again, the second running back isn't even a starter on his own team.  Three solid receivers could be great one week and disappear the next.  Grade:  C+

GRADING THE HHSFFL DRAFT - ERDHAL DIVISION

JAIME ERDAHL DIVISION

Sport of Kings - This draft fell apart after the second round.  You know you're in trouble when you're second running back is a third stringer.  Grade: D

Delta House - I really liked the first six rounds here.  Tough break with Andre Brown breaking his leg about 20 minutes after he was drafted last night, but I'm not going to hold that against the Delta House. Late round picks could have been better spent securing insurance like as Ben Tate or young talents with big upside like Alshon Jeffery.  Grade:  B-

Forgotten Gods - When the season ends, the Gods very well could have the top fantasy RB, QB, and TE.  But I think the Gods got a bit lazy in the later rounds and ended up with some guys that currently low on their respective depth charts.  Still, the potential is there despite drafting next to Morock Nation.  Grade:  B+

Shake & Bake - Lots of risk here with two rookie running backs in the first four rounds.  The potential is there if they pay off, however, because Brees and Megatron will be good enough to carry this team some weeks.  But realistically I see those rookies hitting a wall around week 12.  Grade:  C

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

UH OH...GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS...

Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike...What day is it, Mike?

ITS DRAFT DAY BITCHES!  WOO WOO!

SEVERE SHARKNADO WARNING TONIGHT

There is a severe Sharknado warning for all of Middlesex County tonight.  Take all necessary precautions.  Do not go outside.  You'll be eaten.

THE C-CUP PRESENTATION

Isn't she beautiful?  The HHSFFL C-Cup is one of sports most sought after treasures.  A majestic, solid gold chalice sits upon a lush mahogany base to symbolize fantasy football greatness.  Only the HHSFFL champion is permitted to fondle...I mean caress...I mean hold her.  Simply put, there is no greater honor in sports.  Newly adorned with the name of last year's champion, the C-Cup will be presented tonight to last year's champions, Shake and Bake, in a ceremony ripe with tradition.  

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This one stung a bit to post...

PLAYER NEWS

With the draft just days away at this point, I thought it would be a good idea to give some updates on a few key players expected to go in the early rounds on Thursday night.  

DISCLOSURE:  These comments are mostly fictional, fairly stupid, and completely irrelevant.  

1.)  Adrian Peterson - The NFL is looking into allegations that his ACL was repaired last year using some form of advanced alien technology.  No word yet as to whether this will fall under the league's PED policy.

2.)  Calvin Johnson - Seeking to break his own record for the all time receiving mark of tackles inside the 1-yard line.

3.)  Ray Rice - Rice got into a heated argument with a club bouncer this weekend.  Fortunately he couldn't reach the bouncers head to throw a punch, so the two resolved the matter peacefully.

4.)  LeSean McCoy - Spent his off-season tormenting the Hatfield family.

5.)  Arian Foster - I'm sure the 405 carries last year won't slow him down  much.

6.)  Maurice Jones-Drew - Taller, slimmer version of Ray Rice

7.)  Aaron Rodgers - Hey, we all believed Ryan Braun, right?

8.)  Cam Newton - Reportedly dealing with self-doubt and self-esteem issues after being called out by a 9-year old.  See the film here.  http://youtu.be/6aKYZFcmAmU

9.)  A.J. Green - I'm still not used to seeing top-level talent on the Bengals.  

10.)  Rob Gronkowski - Has reportedly lost 173N of force off his TD spikes due to back surgery.  He's working hard to get back to mid-season form.

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

DRAFT LOCATION MOVED

Breaking news out of the HHSFFL late this afternoon.  Apparently Forgotten Gods ownership, upset about missing last year's playoffs, have pleaded with the HHSFFL between sobs and snot bubbles, to move the draft back to their home turf.  Since the league's expansion to 16 teams and the opening of the official HHSFFL headquarters in Milford, the Gods have fallen on hard times and struggled to compete.  The Gods have hosted the draft three times and in that span, won two C-Cups.  The third, went to the phantom Mr. Kessler.  Has anyone met him yet?  #conspiracytheory

I'm sure with this move, the draft will look just like old times.  Franchock's dog will suspiciously run in and out of the draft room each time the Gods are on the clock.  The mysterious Mr. Kessler will be advising all personnel moves via an AOL chatroom.  And, of course, the Gods will once again land a top three lottery pick.

While the commissioner could not be reached for immediate comment, sources deep inside the HHSFFL have confirmed that the HHSFFL Draft will not take place in Milford as originally planned and has been moved to the Panther's Layer on Route 135. A memo will be sent to all league owners informing them of this change within the next 24-36 hours.

A source close to the commissioner, who requested to remain anonymous, claims that Commissioner Greco simply felt bad and just couldn't stand to see another grown man weep like that.  I mean, it's not like his own teams have been tearing it up in recent years.  But complaining about Jones-Drew's lisfranc injury last year or the fact that a certain unnamed owner still owes him $100 for not saying QB6's real name just looks unprofessional.  I'm sure there will be some fabricated story about being strapped for childcare to save face about why the request was made.  But don't be fooled.  Even though the conversation took place through email, I'm 73% sure it looked a lot like this on the other end...

P.S.  I bet if yesterday we all made a bet about the things we thought would never show up on this blog, a crying James Van der Beek would have been near the top of that list.

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

ONE WEEK UNTIL DRAFT NIGHT

The long awaited event otherwise known as HHSFFL Draft Night is quickly approaching.  One week from tonight, sixteen owners, well past their playing primes will meet in solitude to decide this year's fantasy football fates.  Fate will smile on some, blessing them with sleepers that live up to potential and favorable match ups with teams that score in the 60s.  Others will feel its full wrath as they watch helplessly while their top draft is put on IR before Columbus Day.  Many of them will pull out what little hair they have left wondering how they could have passed up the chance to draft Tom Brady or why they spent a second round pick on Darren McFadden...again.  This is the year, right?

Here are 5 Things Guaranteed to Piss Someone Off on Draft Night...

1.)  Drafting Darren McFadden or Danny Amendola.  That will make anyone nervous.  Both guys have potential to have monster years, and both are made of paper mache.

2.)  Thinking you're going to "steal" Randall Cobb by drafting him in the fourth.  He's going earlier than that.

3.)  Golden's flatulence.

4.)  Pretending that Ray Rice, Arian Foster, Andre Johnson, or Rob Gronkowski will be anything close to what they were two years ago.

5.)  Jay Cutler.

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NELLY CARREÑO DIVISION

   

   

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JAMIE ERDAHL DIVISION

    

  

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MARIA STEPHANOS DIVISION

   

  

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JENNY DELL DIVISION

Did anyone honestly think the Sharknado's weren't going to represent the Jenny Dell Division?

          

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

 

ANNUAL DIVISION REALIGNMENT

As is tradition in the HHSFFL, divisions are renamed and realigned each season.  While a great deal of care and thought goes into the naming of the divisions, the selection of teams is random.  Over the next four days the HHSFFL will release the teams that will represent each division in 2013.