2013 TOP POSITION PLAYER PREDICTIONS

So I've thought about starting my fantasy football research as the new season approaches, but I haven't actually done anything about it yet.  I've been busy enjoying my time off and, while I'm excited about the upcoming season, like many veterans I'm finding training camp to be a bit of a grind.  I don't pour through nearly the number of fantasy articles that I used to.  I don't watch endless hours of preseason football or spend entire days with nothing but the NFL Network on.  I just don't have that same thrill from being out on the field.

Ok...let's be honest....that's a giant load of bullshit and you all see right through it.  No more sandbagging it.  We are still three weeks away from draft night and I'm already blogging.  That has to be some sort of a record, right?

So here are a few predictions for you loyal readers out there.  I'm going to tell you right now who the best fantasy player at each position will be.  Not the best NFL player, the best HHSFFL player.

QB:  Matt Ryan - Yeah, yeah, yeah...I know you're all thinking its just because he's a BC boy and all but if you can look away from Rodgers, Brees, and Brady for a minute you'll see.  He's got two STUD receivers - the type that would be the number one receiver on like 29 of the 32 teams out there.  He has the best tight end in history coming back for one more shot at a ring, and oh yeah, they picked up the talented but fragile Steven Jackson this off-season.  Brady is still the guy I want leading the two minute drill with the game on the line, but he, like Rodgers, lost some key weapons this off season.  So in the words of Joe Lunardi...Matt Ryan, SHARPIE.  (Darkhorse Pick:  RGIII)

RB:  Adrian Peterson - No surprise here.  He came 8 yards short of the best season a running back has ever had all within 9 months of blowing out every ligament in his knee.  He's a freak.  Seriously, I'm like 90% sure he's the property of Skynet and he's on the verge of becoming self-aware.  (Darkhorse Pick:  CJ Spiller)

WR:  Calvin Johnson - Again, not a shocker.  But its hard to overlook a guy that routinely gets targets...and makes catches...despite being triple teamed on 80% of his snaps.  He's just bigger, stronger, faster, and better in bed (according to anonymous sources) than any other receiver out there.  (Darkhorse Pick:  Randall Cobb...yeah, it's a really, really dark horse.)

TE:  Vernon Davis - Gronk is injured, Jimmy Graham is too predictable.  This is the year Davis reaches his freakishly high potential now that he has a quarterback who can do more than hand off and check down.  SHARPIE.  (Dark Horse:  Antonio Gates...I'm feeling nostalgic.)

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

That looks like it hurts.

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR

DAYS UNTIL KICKOFF...

FOOTBALL SEASON IS BACK...ALMOST...

Football is back...or at least it will be very shortly.  Players have reported to training camps, practices are underway, and we are just over a week away from the first preseason games.  Each new season brings with it a special sense of hope and expectation.  Everyone is in first place, crippling injuries haven't sunk anyone's playoff hopes yet, and there are no lob-sided trades to lament.  Yes, the weeks before the HHSFFL Draft are a stress-free time that some team owners will long for in just a few short months.  So, with little actual football to report, lets take a look behind the scenes at some of the HHSFFL's most diehard supporters as they audition for roles on various cheerleading squads throughout the league.

With two teams changing their logos this year, new uniforms were necessary.  I'd have to say that the Little Giants and the Malibu Beach Sharknados have done excellent jobs.

Hawkeye Nation seems to have lowered their standards a bit with this years sideline entertainment.  Perhaps ownership prides themselves on being an equal opportunity employer.  I must admit, this seems to be one area where viewers wouldn't want to see corners being cut.  If this is the type of product they are going to be putting on the sideline, I'd be worried about what kind of a product they are going to put on the field.      

Leave it to the advertising geniuses at the Mad Men to find the perfect location to promote their team logo.  Expert efficiency in terms of advertising space.   

The Mean Machine Graeber Dancers below have gotten very creative this off season with their wardrobe and choreography.  The auditions have been grueling, held in the yard during free exercise from 11 - 2 every day, between laundry and group showers.  This squad may not be much to look at, but remember that the Mean Machine is pulling its talent from an all-male, maximum security prison.  Reportedly ownership has filed a grievance with the warden in hopes of obtaining access to the women's prison down the road.  Although I'm not sure that would look much better.

P.S.  If you don't think this article was just so I could post pictures of hot girls and make fun Graeber and Hamilton along the way then you obviously don't know me very well.  

SEVERE SHARKNADOS TERRORIZE THE WEST COAST

Right now the thoughts and prayers of the Bayside High Tigers and the rest of the HHSFFL are with the victims of the recent Sharknados that wreaked havoc on the Los Angeles area beaches last week. A freak hurricane formed over the Pacific Ocean, causing thousands of sharks to swarm the Southern California coastline.  Tornados touched down over water, lifting hundreds of sharks at a time into the air before dropping them on unsuspecting tourists and beach goers.  The video below is raw footage of the storm.  It may be too graphic for some viewers to handle.

In a show of support, the Bayside High Tigers have dedicated this season to the victims of this tragedy that hit so close to many of their homes.  The Tigers will be playing this season under a new logo as the Malibu Beach Sharknados, and the organization has promised to donate 100% of its revenue from merchandise sales to help the families of those affected to rebuild and recover.