Sunday, September 29, 2013

MR. CRUZ...WELCOME TO BAYSIDE


Breaking news from the HHSFFL late last night.  Victor Cruz has been traded to the Bayside High Tigers in exchange for Ryan Matthews.  Cruz has been mediocre after a big week one outburst so hopefully a change of scenery does him some good.  The pressure will be on for Cruz to perform right away, as the Tigers paid a hefty price to get him.  Starting running backs are like gold.  And while Matthews hasn't had that big game yet, he's a guaranteed 16-20 carries per game and he's the only Tigers RB with a touchdown this year.

Matthews was reached for comment early this morning, before Team President Gerald Belding was able to inform him of the news.  After all, it was a non-school night.  Matthews was a bit offended that he had been dealt so early in the season, but his mood lightened when he realized he was going to play for Coach O'Shea.  "With the Ice Box [Becky O'Shea] and me in the backfield, we can finally run the Annexation of Puerto Rico correctly."  No confirmation yet on whether or not they'll be able to install that package before today's matchup with the Forgotten Gods, but Matthews is optimistic.  "I've been a fan of the Coach O'Shea ever since their legendary match up with the Cowboys 20 years ago in Urbana, Ohio.  I know all of the responsibilities so if Coach O'Shea wants to put it in, I'm ready."

Cruz was unable to be reached by phone, but released the following statement on his twitter feed last night.  "Thank god I'm getting away from the Ice Box.  She's a mean drunk."  Cruz is reportedly healing from several minor injuries from multiple "falls" during his time with the Giants and his questionable for today's game.

1 comment:

  1. I am pretty sure Cruz was an unwilling participant in some of the Ice Boxes late night charades as she continues to try and develop her porn career!!

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